Published on ScaryMommy, Written by Tara Rigg
EXCERPT: "When you lose your child and you know with 100% certainty that you will never have a Rainbow Baby, the loss is even more complex.
This realization was a new and separate grief from the grief I had reserved for our son. These two separate griefs made my pain even that more intense. I was so angry. That we didn’t even have the choice to try again. That we’d never be surprised with a pregnancy. That we’d never again have the joy that is those two lines on a home pregnancy test. That I’d never again feel those kicks. That I’d never again experience a birth resulting in a breathing baby. My anger was almost unbearable. For a good 18 months, I fought with myself, going round and round trying to make sense of why we were denied a Rainbow and why we had to endure our son’s death without the hope of a new life.
In the midst of this double grieving, I read a line in a book about mothering without children."
Read the rest at ScaryMommy.com.